It's been a while since I've written anything...not that anyone noticed. Nobody came to check on me. Not a single soul shot me a text, or a tweet, or a facebook message. Nothing, zip, zero, nada. I expected as much. I could be nothing but a bloated, rotting corpse by now and no one would even question..."Say, I wonder what ever happened to that Rusty Goat guy?"
Quite simply, my laptop died. Yes, the worst death...the BSOD. The blue screen of death! Right in the middle of a Windows 10 update, my trusty companion took its last breath. A horrible way to die, clinging to life support, unable to boot past that message of finality. Your laptop has drawn her last breath. She's dead, Jim! Deader than Twitter, more lifeless than Google Plus. Just a shell of what she used to be. I wept.
I took drastic life-saving measures, but I'm not a computer doctor. Finally, after a week of futile frustration, I tucked her away in a drawer of my desk and...what's this? Buried beneath a pile of discarded cables, cords, and miscellaneous computer debris from years gone by rested my 2002 model HP Pavilion. Would she work? Why had I banished her to the junk drawer a decade ago? I couldn't even remember. Dusting her off and finally locating a power cord that seemed to work, I eagerly pressed the power button. Nothing. I giggled the cord and she glimmered briefly. Ah yes, the cord had a short...I propped it up with a TV remote and angled the power cord at a sharp ninety degrees and she sprung to life. The sound of life came to my ears. A hard disk from the bowels deep within her whirled. The immense heat from the machine struggling to come to life was alarming. After fifteen minutes, she loaded, the sounds from her insides ceased. She sat peacefully before me, willing to answer my call to action. I opened Google Chrome...fifteen minutes later, it loaded. Well...damn!
A week later the package from Amazon arrived. I opened the box and gingerly lifted the one gig RAM card and a brand new battery to eye level. Would this bring my old classic laptop back to life? She had been running on 500 megabytes of RAM, which was sufficient back at the turn of the century. Nowadays, that won't even load Chrome, or Facebook, for that matter. After a successful RAM transplant, I booted her up and, yes...she sprung to life. An hour later, with a fully charged battery, I sat down in my easy chair with my old friend, eager to move forward with my life. Google Chrome loaded instantly with a warning, 'You are using Windows XP, buddy! Don't expect miracles!' After a few hours of research, I came to the dismal conclusion that, even with the additional RAM, the old processor running my Pavilion was not capable of much more than casually surfing the internet...which was what she was built for, after all. Words, in a Scottish accent, rang in my ears...
"She's giving us all she's got, Captain, but she's eighty years old in computer years. It's like putting Romo back in as quarterback!"
The other night I retrieved my dead laptop from the junk drawer and powered her up. The dreaded blue screen appeared as I knew it would. Just start pushing buttons, I told myself. Frantically and recklessly, I began. It was the F9 that unexpectedly brought me to a message, 'Do you want to boot with the last known good configuration?' Well, duh! Thirty minutes later the familiar little Windows flute sounded alerting me that the machine had come to life! I snatched her up from the coffee table a embraced her, cradling her in my lap. Wait...what's this? She had reverted back to Windows 7. I was okay with that. Wait...what's this? There was nothing...NOTHING on my machine. GONE were my pics, my saved blogs...my book I had been working on...ALL GONE! Well...damn!
The world has not ended, in fact, I needed this breather to regenerate...and to reflect. I discovered freedom during those weeks my life was void of the cyber world. I was amazed at how many chores I accomplished around the house. Without a computer running my life, I found balance. I finally repaired that sticking bathroom door. I cooked fabulous meals. I changed out that old shower head. Wow, was that ever awesome! I watched more Netflix. I visited my mom. I rearranged the living room. I went to the movies. I hung up new curtains in my bedroom, replacing the ones I bought back in the '90's. Yep, I had discovered life all over again. And it was good.
So I reflect. I question whether I want to go forward. I have pounded this endeavor into the ground, this futile attempt to carve out a niche for myself as a writer. I've worked tirelessly and relentlessly on my goal to share my thoughts with the world. As I mentioned, not too many people seem to care one way or another...it's not like anyone really missed me those few weeks. And you know what? I didn't miss you, either. True statement.
Quite simply, I had decided during my hiatus that I would stop writing these blogs. Blogging was popular a year ago, not so much now. Much has changed since then. Even social media has waned in popularity. We seek out other adventures...like Netflix. I really like Netflix! I could be catching up on 'The 100' right now instead of spinning tales of my own. I could be putting up the Christmas tree. And so...I reflect. Will I move forward with 'The Rusty Goat?' I reflect on when this all started, how it came to be, and where it will go next. If there is a next. If I decide to write another post, I shall share those reflections with you. Will I write another blog? I don't know. Will anyone read it? I'll not waste too much time fretting over that. Now, where did I put that Christmas tree?