'The Anti-Aging America'

03 October, 2016rodster385Comments (0)



I'm going to rob a bank. Not anytime soon, mind you. When I get old, so old that I can no longer take care of myself, I have made plans to rob a bank. It will be the last few glorious moments of freedom for me. There's only one other way for it to go down, and I just cannot go out that way. So, I shall rob a bank.
Robbing a bank is a federal crime. I'll do hard time, day for day of a sentence that will hopefully see me to the end. Fed time is definitely the way to go. I could rob a liquor store and maybe get five years and with good time, would be back out in eighteen months. What's the point in that? They'd make me leave and that's not part of the plan. Not only would I be back out on the streets, too old to care for myself, but I'd have a criminal record as well! So, rob a bank, with a gun, loaded or not...I should get twenty years or so. That should do it.
I've visited a few rest homes and I can't go there. Rest homes, nursing homes, extended care facilities...whatever they're called, is no place to spend your last days. Medicated out of your mind, strapped into a hospital bed, laying in your own pee...nope, I think I'll just go to prison. Prison is free. Old folks homes, not so much. Is there something wrong with this picture?
The presidential candidates are spouting off promise after promise after promise. They want to take care of the refugees, the illegal immigrants, the women who don't want to be pregnant but are. They want to take care of folks who don't like guns and folks who don't like folks who like guns. They promise to take care of under privileged minorities...they've been promising that for a very long time and have yet to make good on those promises. They promise to take care of people who are gay and people who are not of the gender they think they are. They promise to take care of people who don't pay taxes, whether they be rich or poor. And it goes without saying they want to take care of themselves and the rest of those politicians. But they never...never say they want to take care of the old folks. And folks, there are lots of folks getting old really soon.
The first of the baby boomers are now shopping for walkers. There are a few million more right behind them. Millions, or is it billions, of dollars, have been earmarked for refugee resettlement in our country. Not for our elderly, but for refugees who can't properly be identified. Our older American citizens merit nothing more than the right to be tossed haphazardly on a shelf to collect dust, and then only if they can pay for the privilege of dying neglected and abandoned.
America holds the distinction as the nation of the anti-aging. And it's a disgrace to the human civilization. Do you have any idea how many federal laws, how many state laws, and how many judges dictate how we treat our inmates housed in prisons across America. Libraries overflow with laws, mandates, and policies that govern the day to day living arrangements of convicts. The elderly? Naw, just stuff them away somewhere, out of sight and out of mind.
NFL teams are 'taking a knee' to make their statement concerning racial inequality. It gets peoples' attention, even the president of the United States. Is that what it's going to take to draw attention to the plight of our older Americans? Just a random thought, but what do doctors do with those old knees after knee replacement surgery? Maybe we should be asking for our old knees, neatly bagged in Saran Wrap. Okay, I've strayed from the 'take a knee' topic.
We have two of the oldest presidential candidates in modern history running for the top spot in America. Granted, neither one of them will ever have to live out their last days in the filthy bowels of a dilapidated nursing home. They will die peacefully in some hospital bed in their own mansions, laying in their own pee. Or, there is a distinct possibility that one or both could follow my plan of dying in prison, but highly unlikely. The point I wish to make is, whoever winds up in charge of this fiasco may actually be open to listening to our concerns about the lack of quality care for our elderly. It's time we address this issue and there may be no better time to do it than with those who can surely understand where we are coming from...an elderly president. And whichever way the pendulum swings, we're going to have an elderly president before their four-year term expires.
I think it's time for all of us to rally for those who came before us, who birthed us and raised us, who provided for us and who was there for us through thick and thin. Rally for Grandma and old Uncle Ted. Take a knee if need be, for they likely can't get down on their old knees. Take to the streets with signs of protest, voices raised, clutching Grandpa's knee in Saran Wrap tightly against your chest!
But woe, how could we ever pay for quality elderly care, both conservatives and liberals moan! Well, let's charge every prison inmate room and board! Fifty bucks a day! Don't have it? We'll garnish it from your wages when you make parole, just like we do for child support! And every penny shall be designated to provide quality care for our elderly citizens. Or, we could divert the enormous amounts of money some think we should spend on refugees and illegal immigrants. Maybe all that money sent to Iran could have been spent more wisely?
I think there's a bigger picture we need to look at here. If we as American citizens don't insist our politicians place priority on our elderly, there may come a time when, rather than deal with the expense and the hassle of caring for our aged, society may just find it easier to...eliminate them.
"You are no longer of any value. Your time is up. Today you die."
Me? I'm not worried about that. I'll be in prison living the good life...a free ride till the day I die!


New comment