"Old...ugly...old and ugly."
On the rebound from my disastrous date with Leslie the mail lady, I had succumbed to an online ad directing me to a free dating site called Plenty of Fish, the name itself should have given me fair warning of what I could expect. Nevertheless, I was high and dry and disgruntled and had lowered my standards about as low as they could go, browsing undateable women's' profiles in the wee hours of a Friday night.
"Fat...eew, grody...oh, here's a phycho!"
I shook my head as I read the headline, 'Vampire Princess Seeking The Dark Side." I mean, really? What kind of a nut...my eyes focused on the few photos attached to the profile. I squinted, lifting the laptop up to eye level. Was that...Phycho Sherry? After all these years! I began reading the profile.
'No, I am not Goth. Goth is for wannabe tweens. I am the real deal, a vampire princess...'
I stared at the pictures, my mind unleashing memories from once upon a time, I believe it was the summer of 2002...
I sat at a table alone at the edge of the dance floor, a black Stetson pulled low on my brow, casting a shadow across my face as the neon lights danced like fairies between the boots of wannabe cowboys and lonely women on the old wooden floor before me. My eyes darted from table to table, my mind making mental notes of exactly where every single woman was positioned in the room. I sipped slowly on a Coors Light waiting for the urge to strike me and when it did, I'd be ready. One I hit that dance floor, there'd be no stopping me. I'd dance the night away with a dozen or more of those beautiful creatures pressed against me. I'd smell the sweetness of their perfume. Feel their breath against my neck. Hold their bodies tight against me. I'd not stop until the lights came on and they told us all to go home. It was what I did on Saturday nights, go to the bar...the one place a man could go all alone and not be alone.
I cast a glance toward the far end of the room and my eyes locked on a lone silhouette sitting in the farthest, darkest corner of the bar. I drained the last of my beer, still staring. A woman alone, I decided. My curiosity convinced me she merited a closer look. I swaggered my way toward the table, the darkness still making it impossible to make out anything more than a silhouette. There was only one thing left to do.
"Hey, come dance with me." I flashed a smile as the brunette lifted her head and stared into my soul beautiful green eyes.
"F--- you! Go away! I just want to sit here and drink beer!"
Fueled with a healthy dose of grit and determination, I slid into the chair across from her, motioning to a nearby waitress to bring two more beers.
"What's your name?"
"F--- you! Leave me be, will you!" she snarled.
I passed the waitress a five as she sat the beers on the table.
"So, what did he do?"
The girl stared at the beer before her before reluctantly reaching for it.
"He won't leave his wife. He tells me he's leaving her, but there they are right out there on the dance floor."
She tossed her long hair as she shot a quick glance toward the couples beneath the neon lights.
"Well, you come out there with me and we'll dance circles around them, what do you say?"
"F--- you! I don't dance. I just want to sit here and drink beer."
After nine beers, the girl who called herself Sherry finally allowed me to walk her to the dance floor. With the lights from above illuminating her, I felt a tingle run through my body as I gazed at the gorgeous woman now in my arms. Her brunette hair flowed down her back until there was no back. Her green eyes sparkled in the neon. A dress that was really short, though not too short for my taste, hugged her body. After the first dance, I felt her relax in my arms.
"Getting warmed up now?" I asked.
"My boyfriend and his wife just walked out the door. I'm okay now," she whispered as she laid her head on my shoulder.
The night seemed to evaporate like raindrops on a hot sidewalk. The girl named Sherry clung to me as we spun around the dance floor, her warm breath against my neck. Before either of us was ready to end the night, the DJ announced the last song of the evening.
"Oh, Brian Adams. I love this song." Sherry whispered in my ear as she drew her body even closer. Even with our eyes closed, we could still see the neon fairies dancing at our feet. As the last note of the song played, our lips met and we kissed. I mean, we really, really kissed!
And that's where I probably messed up...